Kid gloves, made from real kids

by Ottawa Hoax

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Two fat guys, a child of divorce and a fixie wanker who've been dilligently cracking out the tritone to 5 people a month at the same venue for 3 years have finally recorded their magnum opus, tracked live in two days behind a tesco express.

Enjoy for free or be a doll and make a donation. all proceeds go directly to G taxi.


released January 2, 2012

Alfie Williams - Guitar, vocals
Felix Carter - Guitar
Jonno Harper - Bass
Paul Brown - Drums

Produced at gunpoint by Dan Brown esq. at Robot Club studios in Bristol

Artwork by eligible bachelor Miles Wragg



all rights reserved


Ottawa Hoax Bristol, UK

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Track Name: God's Rottweiler
Floundering in a fruitless futile wave of weeks/one long dehydrated day in disseray/ever bone dry for stimuli am i/tarred and feathered to the mast of a boat steered by my past/looking to the future with dread and presently feeling misled/what was born a fashion will die a disease/an opera ashen/how to rid the house of fleas/ghastly bardless collective/artless/ought to be dissected/anemic torrent of dubstep abhorrent/time and time again you choose the mouse over the pen/crime and crime again/your craft claws and haunts the bulk of a soon to be corpses' last dream/pneumatic femuhs and 'ill never leave her's'/sordid polaroids of clowns/dogs drowned/a march/nothing you own is to keep/with your every breath closer to the big sleep/so leave your secret at the door that our generation require the key for
Track Name: Mendeleev
Sovereign/prey by its wing/mans flame to your web strings/an earthly pocket/some comfort might stifle your fall/i hope you wont feel anything at all/i plead as you tumble into mire/your elastic laid waste to fire/the endowment attribute in five-fingered salute/kindred arachnid/take my hand and come inside
Track Name: Odourdose
Punto pronto
Track Name: Kid Gloves
Wondering about these bloodstains i've been harbouring from our meetings/i plead court/ drape fate around my neck like a medal/polish its intricacies/it is startling that the council has not latched on/set their targets onto me/old comrade/in the gorge of recession the stoutest antagonist will have his final showdown/and the proles have led me to their homes/i am a dead man walking/the treadmill is talking/we refined the pourous ore that contributed to your lust for human gore/with every enmity your flaw/fortunately i am under no such delusion of autonomy/so humour me openly/mortal's putrid perceptions of my schematics/your putrid perception of my schematics indulges me in a humorous mindset of infinity you caused but could never understand